Mark Cuban and the Greatest Legal Brief in History

22 Jun

dallas mavericks 2011 nba championsThe Dallas Mavericks recently took down the might Miami Heat to take home their first championship in franchise history. Dallas celebrated with a parade, one that DeShawn Stevenson may or may not have been sober at. Cleveland celebrated by making the Mavericks honorary Ohioans for Dirk “keeping his talents in Dallas” (burn!) and the Mavericks displaying “loyalty, integrity, and teamwork” in defeating the evil LeBron James. And Mark Cuban celebrated by giving a giant litigious middle finger to minority owner Ross Perot Jr. Let’s take a look at this brilliant legal brief, in response to Perot Jr.’s suit that the Mavericks are being mismanaged.

First, I’d like to point out that the Dallas Mavericks are to be referred to as the “World Champion Dallas Mavericks.” Usually, it is a shorter name used as the “hereby known as” parenthetical. This was a great decision, and really hammers home the points throughout the brief. It also makes me laugh every time I see it.

Next is a quick explanation about what the Perot Jr. owned Hillwood Investment Properties originally filed suit on, singling out the “litany of questionable business, financial and personnel decisions regarding the World Champion Dallas Mavericks.” This is then followed by the Mavericks disputing evidence, a photo of the entire team celebrating their championship with the Larry O’Brien trophy. Can’t get much more succinct and indisputable than that.

Following the photo is basically a thrashing of the Hillwood ownership tenure, stating that they were one of the “worst franchise” in, not just the NBA, but “all of professional sports.” The brief then proceeds to point out, once again, that the Dallas Mavericks are now the champions of the NBA and that “there can be no genuine question that Hillwood’s claims of mismanagement lack merit” before getting to the point of the whole brief – that the case should be dismissed.

The brief is summed up with perhaps the best line of the entire genius brief. The World Champion Dallas Mavericks ask for a summary judgement (ruling with no trial) in their favor as well as “further relief to which they are entitled (although they are quite content at the moment.)” Fantastic. I absolutely love that last jab, one final reminder basically reminding Hillwood, “hey, we’re happy, we won a championship. What did you do when you owned the team?”

I realize that Perot Jr. and Co. are probably looking more at the financial aspect of the team in their original suit, prefering to make money off of something they most likely look at as an investment, not caring about wins. And Cuban, like any owner, has undoubtedly made some bad signings. And he’s also apparently funneling money from his company to the team as loans to cover financial losses. But whatever – the Dallas Mavericks are the NBA champions, and there’s no better way to prove that a team is being managed correctly than being the ones left standing at the end of the season. It’s good to see a lawyer have a sense of humor and throw some jabs in what is ultimately a legitimate legal document.

 

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